


Snowfall

by arianaybiatch (Harlecat)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, post ACWNR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harlecat/pseuds/arianaybiatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's cold out, and Levi has never seen snow before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snowfall

**Author's Note:**

> Since I'm probably not going to be updating my other SNK fics these next two weeks (dead+finals) have an eruri oneshot I wrote at one in the morning a few months ago? finally edited it so have it I guess. I should write more eruri, it's definitely one of my favorite snk ships, and my OTP for Levi.

It was bitterly cold. Levi huffed and wrapped his arms around himself. He still couldn't believe Erwin was making them train in this weather. Everyone seemed too cold to get anything done properly. Even that damn four eyes was doing poorly.

"Keep it up!" their squad leader called. "If you want to fight Titans, you should be able to do it in any environment!" Hange dropped to the ground, and landed with a loud _thwack._ Someone else shot up onto the tower they'd be practicing with, landed on the frost, and slid back down to the ground. "Christ, you're hopeless. Get down from there before you kill yourselves."

Levi lowered to the ground, shivering. Hange looked over at him and sniggered before falling over again.

"Jesus, just get inside already!"

Levi landed, slipping a little, but managed to right himself. He started back towards their base.

"Levi!"

He turned back and saw Hange sliding around on the hard, icy ground. They shrieked and fell on their stomach, and Levi smirked. Hange reached towards him.

"Come oooon!"

He sighed and pulled on their arm, and she came flying up, flinging out her hands to steady herself. "You've got good balance!"

"Compared to you, that's not much of a compliment."

"It's the ice," Hange folded their arms. "I hate ice. It's cold and hard. You'd get along well with ice."

"I don't like ice either. It's fucking freezing."

Hange snorted. "You're wearing three jackets."

"I am not!"

"Yeah?"

Levi sighed. "I have four on."

Hange cackled and started towards the main building, barely slipping. "You should've seen Moblit this morning. One minute he was under two wool blankets, the next he was stripping. Poor guy!"

Moblit had managed to contact most of the illnesses being passed around in this weather, and was currently in bed. Levi was a little jealous. He'd been sweating the last time he saw him.

He was also a touch baffled. Underground, sickness meant death.

"Yeah, poor guy."

"I know!"

Levi opened the door for Hange and they entered the dining hall. They flounced across the room and started to gather up all the food they could see. Honestly. Levi’s stomach, on the other hand, was _not_ a bottomless pit- so he filled up a single plate and followed Hange to whoever they were bugging today. This evening it was Shadis. Apparently, Hange thought they could do a better job of running the Scouts then him, because she was babbling on and on about learning more and studying Titans. They’d even concocted some sort of plan for capturing one.

Unfortunately, Erwin ate near Shadis. Levi didn't like to spend time in the same area as him, partially because he could constantly feel his eyes on him. He sometimes got the feeling that Erwin was studying him, the way Hange did Titans. He was evaluating him for battle, and possibly out of some sort of obsessive interest. It made the hairs on the back of Levi's neck rise. But then, it could also have been some form of pity. He wasn’t a fan of that, either.

He also didn't like to see him because they hadn't spoken since they were outside the walls, after Isabel and Farlan were killed, and Levi was dreading their next conversation.

This meal was no exception. Erwin stared at him and Levi stared back, a few times. They both barely spoke to anyone, let alone each other. Hange liked to call this "checking each other out," but had stopped using that phrase once Levi threatened to gut them.

Levi finished his meal quickly and stood up to leave, exchanging a look with the knowing Hange and then glaring at Erwin. He cleaned off his plate, left it for someone else to use, and headed away. He heard the door open behind him and glanced back. His stomach flipped over.

Erwin took a few quick strides to catch up with him, and Levi briefly considered running for it- but too late, he was there. The two looked at each other for a moment before Erwin spoke.

"Levi."

"Yes," he said, pausing before adding. "Sir."

"I'm going to require a moment with you," he said. "I'm expecting it to be later tonight, tomorrow night at the latest."

Night time. Jesus Christ.

"Certainly."

"I do apologize, but I can't be sure of the timing."

"Of course."

Erwin nodded at Levi before moving past him to keep going. Levi turned to watch him go. What the hell was he playing at?

The door to the hall opened and Hange stuck their head out, then squeaked and bounced over to Levi.

"Did he talk to you?"

"... Yeah."

Hange clapped. "I knew it! What'd he say?"

"He wants a moment tonight or tomorrow night."

"Night, huh?" They gave him a devilish grin. "Forward, that one."

Levi's cheeks grew hot. "I doubt it's anything like that."

"No, no of course not. But you know, it's good you two are talking again? It's been months. Not since- well. You know."

He did know. He couldn't forget a thing like that easily.

"Hange."

Levi froze, turning. Erwin had returned. This was just what he needed.

"Hi, Erwin!"

"I was wondering what you thought of the weather."

"You know," Hange beamed. "I'm glad you asked. No one has, lately."

"You've been complaining about it," Levi said. Hange took a swipe at his head.

"He's not wrong, though, I have been. But you know, I dare say it'll snow tonight." Levi frowned. "Not badly, but it could turn."

"Right, thank you. Hange, Levi."

And with that, he was gone again. Hange turned to Levi. "Yeesh, you look like you just ate a lemon."

"I'd forgotten about snow," he sighed.

"Oh?"

"It's horrible, how often do you get it?"

"Eh," Hange says. "It varies."

"It must be horrid. Making everything wet and soppy. Worse than rain, and colder too. I've lost a good few roofs to snow." Hange gave him a bemused look. "What?"

"You haven't seen it yet, have you?"

Levi paused.

"Ah, you don't know what it looks like."

"That's preposterous. Of course I do."

"No you don't. Don't worry, you'll see it soon enough, then you can be a little impressed and go back to hating it."

"I don't know what that means."

"You will! So, you're seeing Erwin-" Hange froze, then a smile stretched over their face. "Oh, oh! This'll be good. Don't screw it up."

"What?"

"Anyways, like I was saying. It's good you two are talking again. I mean, clearly you're here for the long run, so by the end of things you'll both be high ranked members. You'll need to be able to talk, you know? Aw. Are we at your room already?"

Levi sagged with relief, and opened the door to his room. Hange had much too much energy. Being around them was like getting caught in a storm. Draining.

"Well," Hange said. "Remember to play nice with Erwin and have fun! And tell me everything later, too. Have a good night!"

They took off with a spring in their step. Levi closed the door and took off a few of his jackets, removed his gear, and then collapsed into his bed.

He did not sleep.

He and Farlan had moved into a new, nearly empty dorm. Now, it was only him. A few things were easily overlooked by the higher-ups, and this was one.

He laid awake for hours. He could not say how long, all he knew was since that expedition, he'd been getting less and less sleep. Perhaps a few hours were completely untroubled, but there were often a few tormented ones. The rest of the time he laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling thinking too much or trying not to. The minutes ticked by and became tedious hours. He closed his eyes and opened them. It got colder so he put on another jacket. He glanced out the window. It looked like there was some light hail. Just great.

The knock came sometime after the gentle storm began, and he stood to get the door. It was Erwin.

"Oh, good. You're dressed."

Levi folded his arms. "It's damn frozen out here. Hang on."

Erwin has already gotten a foot through the door, so he let him in while he put his boots on and pulled on the other two jackets he'd snagged.

"You're the only one in the room," Erwin commented.

"Yeah," Levi said. He didn't probe further. The two headed out.

The halls were silent, everyone had gone to their room. After crossing the building, Levi was sick of the silence.

"So, why'd you need to see me?"

"I wanted to show you something," he said. Well, didn't that clear things up. Levi huffed and followed him up a staircase, then another. They were going towards the roof.

Once they were on the top floor, Erwin got down the ladder to the roof and started up it. Levi glanced out a window. It was turning white. What the fuck did that mean?

He followed Erwin up, and glanced around. It was hard to describe what he was seeing.

"What the fuck," he said. "What the hell. What the actual fucking hell is that? What the fuck. It's white. It's fucking white." Levi stuck out a hand. "Fuck!" He shook it. "That's cold!"

Erwin was smiling like he'd seen something funny. Levi scowled, and he laughed.

"It's snowing," he said.

"Oh," Levi said, and gave the landscape a once over. Fluffy, white flakes were falling and covering up the ground. "... That isn't like rain."

"Not at all."

Levi stuck out his hands to catch some, and looked over at Erwin. "This is what you wanted to show me?"

"Yes."

 _Huh_. "It's interesting, I guess. Kinda solid? Like ice, but also- it's gone!"

Levi stared down at his empty hands and Erwin chuckled. "Yes, the flakes are still pretty small, so they melt quickly. But it's getting colder, and they're getting bigger."

Levi looked down at the roof. It had gone from being powdered to being covered in white. He lifted his foot to step on it. It made a crunching sound. He did it again.

Erwin reached into his own jacket and produced a thermos. "I brought this. Since we'll be up here awhile."

"Damn great," Levi said, which seemed to amuse him. He snatched the thermos and had some. The tea scalded his throat. It was wonderful. He coughed and went for another gulp.

And then the inevitable happened.

"I'm sorry," Erwin said. Levi inhaled, closed his eyes, and looked down into the tea.

"Yeah," he said.

"Really. I am. I should never have let you three get caught up in this."

Levi nodded.

"That fog came out of nowhere, and the rain too. I never imagined we'd-"

"It's not your fault," Levi mumbled. That didn't stop him.

"I should have asked for you to be on my squad. I should have-"

"I don't want to talk about it," Levi told him. Erwin looked a little surprised.

"I don't want you to feel guilty."

"That won't change things," he screwed the lid back on the thermos, then suddenly felt thirsty, and started spinning it again. "You're not responsible, so don't act like you are. It won't make anyone feel better. Besides, it doesn't matter who is. They're still going to be dead, and that isn't going to change either."

"You'll wish they weren't, though."

"I said I didn't want to talk about it."

Erwin nodded and looked out over the land. Levi stopped fiddling with the thermos lid and looked down at the tea. How long they sat like that, he could not say.

"There," Erwin said. "This is what I wanted you to see."

Levi looked up at him, but found he was still staring out at the snow. He turned his head and started.

The snow had covered the land, turning everything white. The tower they'd used for training was heaped with it, some like the iced cakes Hange was so fond of. The mountains and trees were frosted with it. The moon reflected off it and the snow shone.

Levi exhaled, awestruck. It was beautiful. Eventually, he started to look around the roof again, and found the amount of snow had grown there as well. It was nearly a foot thick. He stepped in it, and created a small hole. Then he turned to smile at Erwin, and dropped down into it. It was as soft as it looked, though the roof underneath it was hard, and he liked the sound it made. He almost laughed. It wasn't even that cold. He sighed, then sat up. It was actually kind of cold. At least, where it touches his skin.

Erwin laughed.

"What's so funny?"

He put his hand on top of his head and started dusting off his hair. Powder fell. Of course, some had stuck to him. He could feel it stinging his skin. Erwin moved to brush some off his cheek.

His hand was warm. It stayed there perhaps  a moment too long.

Then it was gone, and Levi was almost disappointed.

"You know," Erwin said. "It probably doesn't help to be in that room by yourself."

"It's fine," Levi said shortly. So they were back to this.

"I can look into it, if you want."

"Don't."

"If you do, though-" Erwin paused. "There's a couch. In my office. It's next to my room, so... It's almost the same."

"Oh," Levi said. "That's... Information."

"If you wanted too-"

"I said I was fine," he said. "Your couch is safe."

"It's there if you need it."

"Do you want any tea? You brought it."

"No, it's for you."

Levi nodded and closed it. He wasn't terribly thirsty. He shivered, though. Erwin started to shrug off his jacket, but Levi's glare halted them.

They headed back inside sometime later. Levi handed the thermos back to Erwin, said goodnight, and headed straight back to his room. He wanted to escape the pit that was growing in his stomach. It did not occur to him till he was almost asleep that he hadn't thanked him.

He forgot to not tell Hange that.

"You didn't thank him?"

"I forgot."

"Levi!"

"It was awkward and I was tired. Okay?"

"Thank him today," they instructed. "Yes?"

"No, that's pathetic. I'm not doing that."

"You'd rather be rude?"

Levi shrugged. Hange shoved him.

"I think you're right," Moblit said. The worst of his sickness had vanished, though his nose was still red and running. "You should say something to him."

They entered the dining hall and Hange immediately strutted towards Erwin, clearly expecting them to follow. Levi turned the opposite direction.

"Come on, Moblit."

He made an exasperated noise and trailed after him.

"You shouldn't leave her alone with him," he said as they sat down. "She could be saying anything. They’re probably filling his head with all sorts of crazy ideas."

Levi froze. He hadn't thought of that. Unfortunately, he'd already sat with his back to their table.

"Are they talking?" he asked Moblit.

He nodded, and wiped his nose. "Yeah."

"Shit!" Levi turned around, then spun back to face Moblit. "Shit!"

"They're looking at you."

He groaned and covered his face. "I hate Hange. I hate Erwin. I swear. I hate them both."

Moblit nodded and inhaled, causing a rattling sound. Hange was over there gossiping with Erwin about him and Moblit was sick and miserable. Just great. Fantastic.

He was tempted to find Hange afterwards and interrogate them, but instead, Levi decided he wanted to stay in the dark and ended up avoiding them all day. He slept less than normal that night, and made a point to stay away from Hange the next day, too.

That night was a bad one.

He had decent nights, even good ones. But that night was the kind of night where he was gripped by something he couldn't control.

An hour must've passed before he thought of Erwin's offer, and his warm hand on his cheek. He dressed himself and headed for his office.

He did not knock. Levi entered, and Erwin glanced up from his desk. Levi spotted the couch and dropped onto it.

"Hey."

"Hello."

Erwin resumed his work. Some time passed where the only sound was the scratching of his writing, and then he put his pen down.

"Do you have nightmares?"

Levi laughed at that, and there was silence again.

"So you do."

"On the good nights I do. Hell, on some of the best nights I have nightmares."

"You like them?"

"Hardly. But it's better than other things."

"So tonight isn't a good night."

"'No." Levi sighed. "It's anything but. Talk to me."

"I'm writing a proposal for Shadis. It's a correction of the flares we've been using. I think we need something that will work without visual."

"Such as?"

"I'm not sure yet. I was thinking scent."

"And this is so it'll work in rain?"

"Partially."

"Rain will ruin scent."

"You're right."

"Do sound."

"I'm not sure we could make a sound flare."

"Well, you're right there. _You_ can't." Erwin looked at Levi expectantly. "Tell Hange to make one. Farlan had some signals once she could adapt."

"I'll look into it." Erwin tapped his pen against his desk. "If you don't mind my asking."

"Ask away."

"If the nightmares are the good nights, then what are the other ones?"

Levi sucked in a breath.

"You shouldn't answer," Erwin said. "I'm sorry. That was-"

"How long has it been?" Levi said. "It's over a month, right?"

"Yes. Two, actually. You're doing well."

"I can't remember their faces sometimes," Levi told him. "I don't realize it until night. I can't figure out what they looked like or how their voices sounded, and they seem longer and longer ago, and farther and farther away. And I try to remember little things and conversations but I can't recreate them anymore, so I just try to remember their face, but I realize I've fucking forgotten." He let out a breath. "Those are the bad nights."

"You see them in your nightmares."

"Normal dreams too, sometimes. Sad, but normal."

"And you see their faces."

"Yes. So they're good."

Erwin nodded, then crumpled up the paper he'd been writing and tossed it away.

"Tonight's a bad night, then."

"Yup."

"What do I do to change that?"

Levi bristled. "Nothing."

"Nonsense. Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking about how stupid you are."

"Tell me."

"I'm thinking about Isabel. She always wore her hair in the same pigtails and never understood a word Farlan was saying. She was really good with gear but messed around with it too much in the beginning. She liked animals and tried to sneak up the stairs once to let a bird go. Some men wanted her hide after that but we scares them off. It was a sick bird. Everything's sick down there. Farlan paid a man extra once because his leg was going and that was just gonna be the first. I don't know why. He always pulled stunts like that out of the blue. From nowhere. One moment he was knifing a guy and the next he was finding a home for some kid off the street. He was insane. We met when he hired all these guys to attack me so he could see how good I was, then he saved my ass, then said guess what I hired them show me what you got, and he was pretty damn impressed when I showed him how good I was. I didn't talk to him for a week after that. He liked to keep things pretty clean but his plane was really dirty before I moved in. Isabel left messes everywhere though. I didn't know if she was for real. She always called me her brother and it was stupid but nice, I guess. I never called her my sister." Levi took in a long breath, and looked down. "Sorry."

"They sound like good people," Erwin said. "I'm sorry I didn't know them."

"Yeah, you'd have liked Farlan. You're both annoying, manipulative little shits."

Erwin smiled. "Was it just the hired men?"

"Oh, don't get me started."

That was how Levi started telling him the story of the time the Military Police had caught Farlan, and how he wormed his way out of it. Next came the time Isabel had gotten drunk and tried to do a job while intoxicated. He told Erwin about how bright Isabel's eyes got whenever she ate and how good Farlan was at whistling. He told him Isabel couldn't sing for shit but that whenever she was hungry she just opened her mouth and started singing some dumb song, no matter where they were or what time it was, and now much Farlan loved to complain, but how annoyingly optimistic he was.

"Thanks," he finally told Erwin. "For letting me talk about them."

"Of course. I like listening."

"And thanks for showing me the snow, too. It looks a lot better from up here."

Erwin nodded. "Like I said, I wanted you to see it."

"It was... Nice."

"You look tired. I should let you sleep."

"I'm fine," Levi said. "I've been keeping you from your work."

"I wish you'd keep me longer."

"Okay, sure." Levi smiled. "What do I say now?"

"I don't know."

"Your couch is comfortable. It's warmer in here than out there."

"I should hope so."

"I don't know why you let me in here. I was ready to kill you two months ago."

"So you were."

"So why do you trust me?"

"You know what it's like out there," Erwin said. "You want to fight that as much as I do."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I like you."

"No, but it means you're like me. We understand each other in that way."

"I suppose."

"The last thing I want is for you to suffer that loss and think you're alone," Erwin went on. "Whether you like me or not, and whether I trust you. I won't let you go through that as well."

"What if I want to be alone?"

"But you don't. If you did, you wouldn't feel their loss at all. Not this much. I shouldn't expect you to want me around, but there are people who want you around."

Levi paused, taking in what he'd said.

"I do want you around," he said after awhile. "So you're stuck with me."

"I think I'll manage." Erwin smiled at him. "Are you tired at all?"

"You keep asking that. I think you're tired. Go to bed."

"You'll be alright?"

"I'll be fine."

Erwin nodded, and stood up. He put out the lights and went to his bedroom door before turning back to him.

"Good night."

"Night."

He closed the door, and Levi heard him moving around for a bit before there was silence. He looked up at the dark ceiling. Swept over the unfamiliar room. He closed his eyes.

He didn't want him to be alone. He had told him he wasn't.

He had Hange and Moblit, yes, and was even starting to feel comfortable around Mike, but they weren't like Erwin. There was something different about him.

Levi scowled and forced himself to change topics. The first thing that came to mind was Isabel. He could hear her talking, but barely.

He stood up slowly, and indecisively, he moved towards Erwin's bedroom door. He opened it quietly, and he could hear him snoring.

He crept towards him, floorboards creaking a little, and knealt by his his bed. Erwin opened an eye.

"Levi?"

"Can I talk to you some more?"

Erwin nodded. Levi was silent for awhile.

"I can remember her saying Lordy Lou. I don't know when or why. But she said it. And it was so stupid."

Erwin smiled. "Lordy Lou," he said quietly.

"You sound even worse." Levi sighed and stared at the floor. "I can't quite remember her face. The one I'm picturing is just... Off. And I don't even know why. If it's the nose, or the eyes or the hair but there's something wrong with it. And I don't know what. Why can't I remember?"

He has barely looked up when Erwin had sat up and grabbed him, pulling him towards him, and folding his arms over his.

"I'm not alone," Levi said. "I have them. And a few other people now too. So why?"

Erwin pulled away, and lifted a hand to his face. His thumb skimmed over his cheek.

Levi wasn't sure why he did it. He would never have wanted to, he thought, nor planned to. He did not even do it properly.

But he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Erwin's cheek, and that was the first time he kissed him.

Erwin snatched him back up after that, tightening his grip on him, chin digging into his shoulder, then he pulled back and brushed hair from Levi's eyes and they looked at each other. Erwin kissed him after that, and he did it right, pressing his lips to his before pulling back, and then Levi fixed his old one, leaning forward and colliding with him, their mouths opening, and struggling against each other.

Levi wanted to kiss him after that. He did all night. They fell asleep in a tangle on the bed, clothes on, but wet from sweat, and while Erwin was sleeping, Levi kissed his hand and forehead until he fell asleep too.

He woke up wrestling with him for the blanket, sitting up and blinking, and wondering how it had gotten over to his side of the bed. It was practically knotted around him. He flailed for awhile trying to get it off, all while claiming he hadn't moved. Erwin laughed too hard and too long, and kissed Levi before helping him untangle the blanket. They fell asleep again.

Levi woke up without Erwin there, and was only a little annoyed with himself for what he'd done. He wanted to regret it. But he didn't.

The door opened, and Erwin entered.

"That was Moses," he said. "I'm sorry."

"You apologize too much." Levi yawned and stretched. "You snore really loud. Don't say sorry or I'll knife you."

Erwin smiled and crossed the room to kiss him, and Levi wasn't tired anymore.

He did not tell Hange. Not in detail. Though he was fairly sure she figured out the parts he didn't mention, though she didn't say anything about it. Not anything that he could take to mean she knew. He wasn't sure about anyone else, though.

Things happened. Time passed.

Wall Maria was breached and humanity suffered. Eren came along and suddenly there were people who were Titans and apparently Titans who might be people. He lost a squad to one of them.

He and Erwin talked about them one night. Levi reminisced about how loud they'd been.

They found out they'd been lied to then more people that seemed possible. Three Scouts vanished, all Titans and all liars, and they almost lost Eren too. Another girl was a liar and they almost lost her and Eren, and another district as well.

It snowed one night, and Eren came to find Levi, and spilled his heart out through his mouth. He told Eren the truth.

That he wasn't alone.

He told Levi he was like family that night. He left some time after that.

That was also the night Lev told Erwin he loved him. He didn't know how he took so long, in the world they lived in.

Erwin told Levi the truth. He said he loved him too.

He was as warm as if it were summer.

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly don't know if that was fluff or angst but hope you guys enjoyed!


End file.
